Star Wars 9 will have to figure out how to reveal the death of Leia, now that Carrie Fisher is no longer with us.
But the plucky princess already faced death numerous times throughout the movies and associated books and series. In fact, she was almost eaten on Endor by the not-so-cuddly Ewoks, before C-3PO had his moment of divine revelation. Yes, they are often-mocked figures of fun but they had Han and Luke over a spit ready for a feast.
Fans have been going crazy over a new theory which puts a classic scene from The Return of the Jedi into a much darker and disturbing light.
There have been frequent rumours that the Ewoks might make a return Episode 9 but why would anyone want that? Especially after this latest explanation of a classic scene…
Military analyst and writer BA Friedman wrote: “The Ewoks had a dress to give to Leia in Return of the Jedi because they had previously eaten someone her size.”
One comment immediately asked: “Then why wasn’t the dress burned? They were going to cook Han with his clothes on.”
Another explained: “That’s a plot hole in the movie. They almost certainly wouldn’t have thrown away (or burned) good fabric like that. In ‘reality’ they’d have killed and stripped Han and Luke before cooking them. But obviously, they couldn’t do either of those in the film.”
Even worse is another observation: “The even more horrible alternative is that the forest moon of Endor is the Empire’s sweatshop, and that hidden in those forest villages, thousands of Ewok children are sewing low-cost outfits for Space K-Mart.”
Thousands of fans spread the hilarious post and then a new Reddit post expanded on the horrifying idea.
Redditor remeddit said: “Ewoks eat people. It seems to be a pretty accepted practice. When Leia was allowed to live among them, she was given a dress that seems to be made locally
“Now, there are a couple of possibilities. Did Leia bring a dress with her? Highly unlikely, she was on a military mission. Did the Rebels somehow sew together new clothing? Doesn’t make much sense, I can’t imagine a rebel soldier being able to create an entire homespun dress, or even feel the need to. Did the Ewoks make Leia a dress? Also unlikely, they dress in rags themselves so their clothes craftsmanship seems pretty limited.”
“That leaves one possibility. At some point, another woman was on Endor (crash landed maybe?) and either brought that dress with her or made it while stranded. The Ewoks found her, murdered her, and ate her. Kept all of her belongings as a prize. Gave the dress to Leia later when they realized it would fit her and make a nice gift.”
The unpopular porgs from The Last Jedi were routinely compared to the Ewoks as unsuccessful Star Wars attempts to court children and promote merchandise sales, but at least they ended up roasting on the spits themselves, unlike the human-eating Ewoks.
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