Royal rift: Rows ‘make children feel insecure and unloved’ – impact can ‘last generations’

Royal rift: Rows 'make children feel insecure and unloved' - impact can 'last generations'

An expert, looking at the royal rift, has given his advice to people in similar familial situations. Neil Wilkie is a relationship expert, psychotherapist, author of the Relationship Paradigm Series of Books and creator of online couples therapy, The Relationship Paradigm.

He spoke to about family rifts after the reported fallout within the Royal Family.

Rumours of a rift had been reported for months before Prince Harry and Meghan Markle made shock allegations that “several conversations” took place among unnamed members of the family, concerning their son Archie’s skin tone.

The Duchess said in the interview: “In those months, when I was pregnant, all around this same time, we had in tandem the conversation of he won’t be given security, he won’t be given a title … and also concerns and conversations about how dark his skin will be when he’s born.

“That was relayed to me from Harry, that was from conversations that family had with him. It was really hard to see those as compartmentalized conversations.”

The Duchess of Sussex also said she was made to cry by Prince William‘s wife Kate Middleton.

Prince Harry claimed he had been financially cut off by his father Prince Charles.

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A Clarence House spokesperson responded to these claims and said: “As we’ll all remember in January 2020 when the Duke and Duchess announced that they were going to move away from the working royal family, the Duke said that they would work towards becoming financially independent.

“The Prince of Wales allocated a substantial sum to support them with this transition. That funding ceased in the summer of last year, and the couple is now financially independent.”

Neil Wilkie warned rifts within the family can have impacts on children, which could last generations.

He told “Family rifts can fester and last for generations.

“It is really important that parents deal with these to avoid their children inheriting unhelpful and unnecessary bad feelings or dislocations from their wider family.”

The expert claimed, “there are two really important issues to address.”

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He advised parenting in family disputes “ensure (their) children feel loved and secure.”

He said: “A rift can resonate and make children feel insecure and unloved.

“If the rift is causing you to feel angry, upset or resentful these negative emotions will spill over and pollute the life of your children.

“If your children were very fond of the relatives concerned, they may blame you or feel that, in some way, they were to blame. You must ensure that they know that they are loved by you and that you are doing your best to resolve the problems.

“Children often believe that their relationships will have to be like their parents. So, if it is loving and harmonious, they are very fortunate and will carry that into their futures.

“If it is unhappy and argumentative, they will carry that shadow with them because ‘that is how relationships are’ unless they can find a better model they can apply in their lives.”

He warns children will pick up on much more than their parents may realise.

“Couples may believe that they can keep their disagreements hidden and their frustrations swept under the carpet,” he said.

“Children will pick up, at least subconsciously, if the relationships their parents are having do not feel right.

“Children need to see that differences are part of life and that they can be dealt with amicably.

“They also need to experience that life can be a bumpy ride and that their parents can handle this as a team.”

David also suggested Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s Oprah interview made “resolution much harder.” 

He said: “It’s even harder in the case of celebrities or the Royal Family because they are in the glare of publicity and disagreements make juicy TV or column inches.

“Expressing your family angst in front of millions of viewers or readers can only create a hardening of positions and makes resolution much harder when one side would have to publicly proclaim that they were wrong.”

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