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What To Know About Stonewalling In A Relationship – Glam


Stonewalling is when a psychological and hypothetical “wall” comes between you and your partner. This often occurs during an argument when emotions are high. “Stonewalling is not talking to someone, giving someone the silent treatment, or even just not talking about a certain subject to avoid confrontation,” Chelsie Reed, Ph.D., a mental health counselor and author, tells Cosmopolitan. The listener who’s stonewalling can withdraw or shut down, which leads to a closed connection with their partner, who’s talking. Healthline reported that this can obviously show up as the silent treatment or cold shoulder. Oftentimes, the stonewaller will busy themselves by checking their phone or saying a phrase to divert the conversation like, “Do whatever you want,” or “I’m done.” 

Of course, there are repercussions to stonewalling in addition to leading to a failed relationship. “Partners who are stonewalled often feel demeaned or abused. They may even begin to question their own self-worth,” psychotherapist Marni Feuerman writes for Verywell Mind. If someone stonewalls to diffuse a situation, oftentimes it escalates even more. Feuerman also noted a study that suggests it can even cause health issues. The stonewaller can develop internal pain such as backaches, stiff necks, and muscle aches. The person who is being stonewalled can develop cardiovascular issues like “increased blood pressure, tension headaches, and rapid heart rate.”



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