Pennsylvania Is the Best State

3 min


By

Caity Weaver

Pennsylvania Is the Best State

Ask anyone from Pennsylvania and they’ll tell you — they’re from Pennsylvania: the fifth largest state by population; second state admitted to the union; one of only four states that is actually a commonwealth, which is the same as being a state, except it’s actually a commonwealth; longtime home of Benjamin Franklin (not technically his birthplace but definitely his main thing that he loved); the birthplace of Patti LaBelle, Sharon Stone and others; a place that is wider, geographically wider, than you think (roughly 300 miles east to west).

Advertisements

For whatever reason, that portion of the United States that is not Pennsylvania tends not to find Pennsylvania riveting.

But now, as the anxious nation awaits the final tally of votes in the 2020 presidential election, all eyes are glued to Georgia, Nevada, Pennsylvania and Arizona — or, as people from Pennsylvania interpret it: to Pennsylvania.

Although Pennsylvania (home state of Meek Mill and James Stewart) has long been regarded as an election swing state due to the heterogenous political composition of its residents, the extra attention paid to Pennsylvania this election cycle is the result of an imbroglio of its own design: a prolonged ballot-counting period brought about by the Republican-led state legislature’s refusal to allow mail ballot tallying to begin earlier than usual, despite what was expected to be (and turned out to be) an extraordinarily high number of mail ballots.

While in Georgia, vote totals for Donald J. Trump and Joseph R. Biden Jr. are expected to be separated by a hair’s-width margin, government officials in Pennsylvania have been predicting a comfortable win for Mr. Biden for days. It’s just taking a long time to note it. (Philadelphia’s mayor, Jim Kenney, referred to Mr. Biden on Friday morning as the “winner.”)

Image
Credit…Kriston Jae Bethel for The New York Times

Understandably, many Americans have been frustrated at the slow trickle of results. “The human body was not made to expend this much energy thinking about Pennsylvania,” Stephen Colbert tweeted at 7:13 p.m. Pennsylvania time on Election Day — with still days of counting left to come.

Then, days into the national election effectively being held hostage (in part) by Pennsylvania, social media users — or at least those rooting for the democratic candidate — suddenly gave in to Stockholm syndrome. They gleefully warned of the foolhardiness of anyone who would travel to Philadelphia to start trouble, swapping tales and impressions of the seemingly deranged conduct of its residents under normal circumstances.

Credit…Mark Makela/Reuters

“With everyone all interested in Pennsylvania,” tweeted the state’s lieutenant governor, John Fetterman, as bleary, fraying Americans prepared for another sleepless night of waiting for Pennsylvania to finish counting votes, “I wanted to remind you that one crackerjack LG had 500 pounds of delicious PA butter crafted into a fitting tribute for Gritty this year. #ButterGritty.”

The text was accompanied by a photo of him posing with a monstrous butter sculpture of the demented Philadelphia Flyers hockey mascot — a mascot people in Philadelphia mocked when it debuted in 2018, until people outside Philadelphia began to join in, at which point the City Council passed a resolution officially honoring “the spirit and passion that Gritty has brought to the City of Philadelphia.”

Earlier in the week, conservative political commentators had encouraged supporters of President Trump to travel to Philadelphia to demonstrate their displeasure with the continued ballot-counting that appeared poised to deliver a victory to Democrats.

Advertisements

“The great thing about Philadelphia is you literally can’t insult them,” declared one Twitter user on Thursday afternoon. “They take any attempt at insult as either a compliment or an offer to fight which is also a compliment in Philly.” Judging from social media response to the commentators’ scrutiny, that sentiment could well be extrapolated to describe the entire state where, as you likely know, “Rocky,” “Rocky II,” “Rocky III” and “Rocky V,” as well as all of the big M. Night Shyamalan movies, were filmed.

Philadelphia election officials announced on Friday that they would release the results of another 2,000 to 3,000 ballots before the day’s end. These updated tallies will leave still tens of thousands of ballots left to be counted, ensuring that, for just a while longer, Americans will continue to view goings-on in Pennsylvania the way Pennsylvanians always have: as interesting and notable events.

Advertisements

Like it? Share with your friends!

32
7 shares, 32 points

What's Your Reaction?

hate hate
11
hate
confused confused
2
confused
fail fail
18
fail
fun fun
16
fun
geeky geeky
14
geeky
love love
7
love
lol lol
9
lol
omg omg
2
omg
win win
18
win

0 Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Facebook Comments

Choose A Format
Personality quiz
Series of questions that intends to reveal something about the personality
Trivia quiz
Series of questions with right and wrong answers that intends to check knowledge
Poll
Voting to make decisions or determine opinions
Story
Formatted Text with Embeds and Visuals
List
The Classic Internet Listicles
Countdown
The Classic Internet Countdowns
Open List
Submit your own item and vote up for the best submission
Ranked List
Upvote or downvote to decide the best list item
Meme
Upload your own images to make custom memes
Video
Youtube, Vimeo or Vine Embeds
Audio
Soundcloud or Mixcloud Embeds
Image
Photo or GIF
Gif
GIF format