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Woman calls police as she thought she was cooking a human penis from store

staronline@reachplc.com (Emma Parker)

A woman called the police after becoming concerned the meat she bought from a shop was a human penis.

Lania Singfield, from Akron, Ohio, says she “wants answers” over what the mystery meat could be.

Lania became suspicious about the phallic-looking meat she had purchased from a local supermarket.

She had intended to buy turkey tails for dinner but upon closer inspection felt as though they looked like a penis.

The woman had started cooking the “would-be member” but took them off of the heat and immediately called the police.

She had intended to buy turkey tails for dinner

Lania told the Akron Beacon-Journal: “It looked a lot more like a human penis than any other kind of meat.

“I hope it’s not a human, because then somebody is missing something that they need or somebody might be dead. I just want answers.”

Summit County cops arrived at her home and were so baffled by the shape of the meat that they took the suspected penis into custody.

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From there, the officers handing it to the medical examiner for testing, who were able to confirm what the meat was.

The lab determined the meat was in fact, pork, not the suspected turkey, or a penis.

Lania has now retained a lawyer to speak to the Save A Lot store that sold her the meat on her behalf.

The lab determined the meat was in fact, pork, not the suspected turkey, or a penis

In a statement, Save A Lot said it had not had issues with the product before and said it has a commitment to holding the highest standards.

They said: “At Save A Lot we have a long-held commitment to the highest standards in quality control and work in partnership with our vendors to ensure those standards are upheld.

“Issues of quality receive the utmost priority and we take this matter very seriously. We can confirm that we have had no previous quality issues with this item and we have not been contacted by the customer in question or the local authorities regarding this incident.

“We will take the appropriate action at that time.”

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