Comedian Vic Reeves loves shopping with his wife
Not a lot of people know this but I’m very good at… sniffing things. I’ve got an incredibly acute sense of smell, like a bloodhound. My wife borrows perfumes off me. I play the bass, too.
My best friend is… my wife, Nancy. After family, it’s Bob [Mortimer], I suppose.
My nickname is… Nancy calls me Bee and we don’t know why. That’s a world exclusive – no one knows that. Mostly it’s Bee but sometimes it’s Flea.
The bravest thing I’ve ever done is… climb to the top of a ship’s mast at sea. My son Louis was about 12 and we took part in Dangerous Adventures For Boys.The ship was rolling around all over the place and it took three attempts.I’m scared of heights but Louis told me I had to do it, so I climbed right up to the top. It was absolutely terrifying but, when I did it, I felt very brave.
Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer
My favourite TV show is… I can watch dramas all day long. I like Ozark, things like that.That or Coronation Street. I never miss it.
My perfect evening is… I’d have dinner, shower then sit on the bed with Nancy and watch something like Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Then we’d go downstairs, get some celery and some hummus and watch a movie or a good drama.
I’d like to say sorry to… my mum. She lives in Yorkshire and I wish we lived a bit nearer.I’d say sorry for not seeing her as much.
Vic Reeves and second wife Nancy Sorrell
My first kiss was… aged 14 with a girl called Cathy from a Catholic family. There were 12 of them who lived in a three-bedroom house. She had alopecia with hair on her head but no eyebrows.We did this competition to see who could kiss for the length of a song.I kissed Cathy to You Wear It Well by Rod Stewart. That’s about four minutes.I don’t know if you’d call it kissing… more like two faces crushed together.
The one thing I’d change about myself is… I’d like to lose some weight and grow some hair back, basically how I looked at 30.Let’s reel back the years a little bit, but not too much. My hair is drifting back. If I just stopped eating cake, I could do something about my weight, but you’ve got to enjoy yourself, haven’t you?
The best thing my parents taught me was… to look at things and always be different – never do what anyone else is doing.A lot of people don’t look at all.They should teach “how to look” at school. It’d be more useful than a lot of things.
The last time I cried was… Nancy cries all the time, even at adverts, but I don’t cry much at all. I cry with happiness more than sadness.
The first record I ever bought was… Space Oddity by David Bowie. I actually got it by mistake. I’d been to see the [Stanley] Kubrick movie 2001: A Space Odyssey and wanted the soundtrack from the record store, but I came home with David Bowie. This was before anyone had heard of Bowie. I was so disappointed but that album hit the charts and I became the coolest kid in school because I got it first. I was a pop star at one point, and I sang the Shaun The Sheep theme. I had one No.1 and two No.3s.
It’s not good for my image but I like… embarrassing my kids with modern dance routines, and using modern slang. That usually gets them going.You know, like saying “peng”. That means good. You’ve got to be selective and drop them into conversation, then watch their eyebrows raise.
My greatest weakness is… fruit cake and biscuits. Something like a Hobnob with chocolate involved.
If I could pass any law I would… limit the amount of cars on the road. People take it for granted, me included. With less traffic on lockdown, you can almost smell the difference in the air.
I drive… an Audi Q7 because I like going to the tip. I transport canvases around, too.It’s really quite boring and I’m always looking on eBay for cars I want, like a 1959 Triumph 3 TR or an MGA.I’ll look and almost buy it, but then the feeling passes. I’ve saved myself a lot of money.
The shop I can’t walk past is… Vivienne Westwood.I love clothes and going to supermarkets. I spend hours walking around the aisles looking at ingredients. I like shopping with Nancy as well. Blokes tell me how awful it is and think I’m being stroppy but it’s true – I like shopping with the ladies.
The most expensive thing I’ve ever splashed out on is… paintings. I’ve got very expensive paintings by swapping with other artists and I’ve bought a few Peter Blakes.
The actor I’d like to play me in a film is… Samuel L Jackson? I don’t know. Maybe John Goodman.
The worst job I’ve ever done is… I worked on a pig farm once but that was probably one of the best jobs I’ve ever done. It was filthy and I had to take my clothes off in the garage before I came in the house. I wasn’t allowed on a bus because I stunk so much. It was a good job for me but a terrible one for everyone else.
My perfect Sunday is… before lockdown we’d go out and visit some gardens or an art gallery. At the moment we go on long walks in our local countryside.
My favourite place in Britain is… other than my home, I like it in the Lake District. We used to go every Easter holiday.
My last holiday was… Nancy’s sister lives in a big beach house in New Jersey in America. That’s the last place we went to.
I’m currently reading… Mrs Moreau’s Warbler: How Birds Got Their Names by Stephen Moss. I’m also reading Dent’s Modern Tribes by Susie Dent. There’s a lot of non-fiction in the shops, everyone’s writing an autobiography. The bookshelves are full of people I’ve never heard of.
The best day of my life was… my wedding day, but so was my 60th birthday party at the Astor Theatre in Deal. My friends who I hadn’t seen for years turned up.
If I had half an hour left on Earth I’d… watch Coronation Street.
• Vic joins comedian Natasia Demetriou to host The Big Flower Fight, a new Netflix series out tomorrow.